Me, I am my kids' teacher

makes you stronger.

Bologna.

Who says that anyway? I say what doesn't kill you makes you want a smoke and a strong drink. Or at least a pedicure.

All right. All right. Just because I'm nice and home school and all that doesn't mean I've forsaken my sass. Because I wouldn't have put that nasty cartoon up a few entries ago about Stan's wake up habits. It was too funny to pass up for this particularly named couple, although the post probably damaged my pristine reputation! And I've felt a little naughty about it.

So, for the last four days, we've been a family of five kids. The new additions are our great nephews. I mean "great" in that they are our niece's boys, though they are great in many other ways too, especially when they're asleep!

I could not jovially post anything about this earlier today. Especially when the three year old "missed" the potty entirely, spraying most of the bathroom, soaking his last clean pair of undies and tshirt ... while his almost two year old brother grabbed Stan's water cup by his side of the bed (the door was supposed to stay closed because it also is the hideout room for Giles' guitar, Lydia's doll -- not toddler -- stroller, pictures that lined a low shelf, and a few noisy cars) and dumped it, no doubt trying to simulate the Red River from the bedside through the hall. Did I mention that was simultaneous? What do you do? Dress boy, sop up pee or sop up water trail on wood floor?

We've relearned a few things about having toddlers in the house.

... there is a proportional relationship between the height of fingerprints on the walls and door facings to the rise of breakable items (and favorite toys of the older children) to top shelves and mantles.

... manufacturers of noisy cars, vehicles, toys and "computers" should serve hard time.

... pbs is good ... even Barney

... a lapful of kids while rocking in the chair is good

... but a lapful of kids who have almost dozed off assures the phone will ring

... when you're almost two, your mission in life is to "seek and destroy"

... a toddler has never encountered a button he could not resist touching

... the top bunk is irresistible

... peek-a-boo almost always works

... a few rounds of "head shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes" will cause sore thigh muscles for the out of shape adult the next day

... the adult can still pull off watering down apple juice unbeknownst to the toddler demanding "more apple juice" .... "pleeeeeeeeese"

... part of the way a toddler builds his vocabulary is to repeat everything the adult says and repeat everything the adult says and then repeat everything the adult says while ending each phrase an octave higher

... water hose - good

... wet diapers will eventually explode after a round in the sprinkler

... when swinging high, younger brother will run behind swing and get thrown to next Tuesday (being the younger brother, he will shake it off in five seconds)

... toddlers like to share their pacifiers with cats

... the grocery store sells new pacifiers

... the grocery store is open 24 hours

... toddlers think the world revolves around them!

And once you put your heart and mind around that concept, and revolve around their every need and LOUD DEMAND (or purpose to endure the wailing), well, you just get through it and get the hang of it about the time they go home.

if it doesn't kill you.

Posted in: on Tuesday, August 14, 2007 at at 10:03 PM